Discovering Who I Am

Posts Tagged ‘Identity’

When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers,
The moon and the stars, which You have ordained,
What is man that You are mindful of him,
And the son of man that You visit him?
–Psalm 8:3-4

When David wrote this Psalm, he must have been gazing up into the heavens on a clear night, struck by the beauty and complexity of creation. David may have been able to count 1,500 stars with his naked eye, yet we now know that there are an estimated 100 billion stars in our home galaxy, the Milky Way, and there are another estimated 100 billion galaxies, each with an estimated 100 billion stars!

“What is man, that You are mindful of him?” The answer to this question seems less and less likely to be found with each step we take into the limitless expanse of the universe. The more we know about the intricacies and complexities of the human body; with each new discovery and small advance of science; with each new sunset and flower blossom, the mystery of why God pursues man becomes more difficult to fathom.

Psalm 40:5 says that God’s thoughts towards you and I are too numerous to count, and they are all good. Jeremiah 29:11 says that God’s thoughts for us are of peace, to give us a future and a hope. He knew you and I and had planned out our unique personality and gifting from before time began. If you are like me, you have a hard time accepting these facts. After all, we know our failings and short-comings. I find it hard to believe that God feels good about me because I don’t feel good about myself.

The difference is that God separates our behavior from our identity. He knows who He created you to be and that you do not cease to be what He created just because you might sin at times. You and I would do well to take the lead of the creator of the universe and agree with Him about who we are. When you get under a load of self-condemnation, do you stop and check it with God before you buy it? You might be surprised by the freedom He gives you to decline carrying such burdens.

“Blessed are they
whose transgressions are forgiven,
whose sins are covered.
Blessed is the man
whose sin the Lord will never count against him.”
–Romans 4:7-8

Truth is not produced by our coming to understand it. Truth is like a colossal mountain that I fail to notice because I have been walking through life with my head down and eyes on the ground. Suddenly, I lift my head and see the mountain for the fist time and somehow think that the mountain would not have come to exist if I had not lifted my eyes and discovered it.

In a similar fashion, we don’t discover who we are and then become it: we are what God created us to be from the beginning of time. As we lift our eyes and look to the Creator, our identity is revealed and we either agree with the truth and it is manifest, or we deny the truth and go on living as something we are not. Often, we give more merit to what another person said we are than we give to the one who created us. (And most often, that person does not really know who they are, let alone who we are.) Yet we agree with them without question and become the very thing we believe –like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Let us look to the Creator for our identity and agree with Him. Let us question everything we believe about ourselves and hold it up to the flame of scrutiny: where did it come from, and how did I come to believe it? Let us invite the Spirit to reveal the truth about who He designed each of us to be, and then become that very thing.

Have you given up on reaching for that greater purpose in life? Sometimes I wake up after a few months of trudging along through life to realize I have lost sight of the aspirations that once compelled me out of bed and engaged me in something larger than 8 hours and three meals a day. Sometimes, I feel like it is childish and irresponsible to have dreams. I believe God placed the passion and desire for something more in each of us because His intention is that we fulfill that greater purpose in His kingdom.

Reach high, for stars are hidden in your soul.
Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal.
–Pamela Vaull Star

I wanted to share with the world one of the most meaningful and valuable things of mine: my Father’s Blessing, given me on my 40th birthday. Written by my father, Lonny Davis:

Dear Evan, yesterday was your fortieth birthday. I think there must be some mistake. Can you really be that old? It doesn’t seem that long ago that your mother and I were praying you would live long enough to become an adult. You were so full of energy, overflowing with imagination and ready to try anything some other guy tried, no matter how much older and more experienced he might have been.

You were always ready for fun, relishing a prank or surprise for your brother, sisters and friends. You were also a pretty good sport, taking what you dished out. I thought your groomsmen offered, during your wedding, a rather appropriate salute. Though the minister took offense, I enjoyed it. It’s O.K. to be different. How many brothers would eat mud pies made by their older sisters? You ate Chellee’s that she fed you when you were three years old. Encouraging and supportive little brother!

When you lost your right eye, mom and I were seemingly affected the deepest. We grieved, while you had fun scaring the girls. Read the rest of this entry »

We all need new hope. Why do you think health clubs see huge spikes in new memberships at new years? With the start of a new season comes a sense of great possibilities and opportunities. God knows this about us – He designed it into us. If you think about it, everything in the universe is built around cycles. The rotation of the Earth around the sun ensures the seasons. Each new year, new month, new day, new book, new job; each new relationship… even rearranging the living room gives the opportunity for a new start. Might I suggest that we embrace this new year with anticipation of the new things God wants to accomplish in us and through us? It is OK to hope for that victory we have been needing; that breakthrough we have been waiting for; expect the blessings and promises from God that His word tells us are ours. May God accomplish His perfect will in you and through you this new year.

I have always tended towards doubting who I am; questioning and second-guessing what is real and authentic in me and what I am entitled to claim as real in me. I have tended towards emulating the things I see in others that resonate with me rather than just being that unique creation that I am. I will try to make a video I am producing look like another rather than trusting my vision. I will tend to copy someone else’s design, and when I do create something original, I don’t allow it to be as valid as someone else’s original idea. As much as Solomon was right in Ecclesiastes 1:9 when he wrote “there is nothing new under the sun?”, I believe that God has made you and me unique as a snow flake (many of which are falling outside as I write this) and there is no one else that thinks or creates like you do, or like I do. We need to trust God in us and be who He made us to be.