Peck talks about an odd thing he’d noticed in his practice. Some patients would begin therapy as deeply troubled, deeply religious people. He’d help them, and—to his mind—part of their clear growth would occur when they’d leave their religion behind. Other patients, just as troubled and then just as helped, would find faith as a result of their work together. What did that mean?

That question agitated Peck into proposing a four-stage theory of human spiritual and emotional development. He proposed that, in a perfect world, our spiritual development would exactly track with our emotional development. But, given our actual world, it rarely works that way. Traumas along the way can stop our growth in an earlier stage, which has implications not only on how we see the world but also in the way we regard other people and the purpose of life.

Schmelzer goes on to describe the four stages of faith as Peck saw them. He calls the first stage the criminal stage and corresponds it to the toddler years. Toddlers are completely focused on their felt needs and have no capacity to account for the needs of others or for how their behavior impacts others.

You could make the case that people who get stuck in the criminal stage are often best served by two institutions: jail and the boardroom. Jail for obvious reasons… but high-functioning stage 1 folks can often be quite effective businesspeople (or politicians or, God forbid, pastors), because they’re relentlessly focused on winning, on getting what they want, whatever it takes.

He describes stage two Christians as rule-based and corresponds them to age 6 or 7. During this stage, one realizes that there are a set of rules and behavioral expectations that, once embraced, offer a formula for life that works pretty well.

Two institutions might best serve stage 2: the military and the church. The military, again, for obvious reasons. It has famously been a transitional institution for people coming from chaotic backgrounds. It’s where they find discipline and boundaries. But it was the church part that grabbed my attention. Peck argues that most churches are stage 2. They exist to tell people the rules, to set the boundaries of life.

He takes great pains not to judge this. He emphasizes that whatever spiritual things happen at these churches are undoubtedly completely real and that, to his mind, the teachings there are effectively true. The heart and soul of America and most countries are right here in stage 2. These are the good people who get things done and raise strong families. The larger point rests, rather, in how this and other stages interact with each other. So let’s go on for a moment.

Stage three is described as rebellious and corresponds to the teen years.

At this stage, the healthy kid begins to question the rules she has been taught in stage 2. Why are they the be-all and end-all? What’s behind these rules? Often the answers the teen gets are not convincing, particularly if the world around her is stage 2. Then she’s most likely to hear, “Quit being such a smart aleck!” and not much more. This often hardens the teen into stage 3, and the wars begin between her and all things stage 2.

The institution that seems best to support stage 3 is the university. Periodically we hear cries of alarm from conservative circles that universities are monolithically liberal. And according to Peck’s theory, of course that’s true and always will be true. Universities are filled with eighteen- to twenty-one-year-olds, who—as a group—are transitioning into stage 3.

Now, before going on to Peck’s stage 4, it’s worth qualifying this for a moment. Stage 3 folks are indeed spiritually advanced in one limited sense, but not in all senses. Let’s say a godly, faith-filled, stage 2 seventy-year-old, someone who has given her life to loving God and loving others, was walking through one of Cambridge’s many town squares and ended up in a conversation with some snarky, stage 3, nineteen-year-old. Who is more spiritually advanced? Obviously, in any meaningful sense, it’s the older, godly woman. But Peck’s point is that there is, nonetheless, a sense in which it’s the cocky kid. Hold that thought.

What stage 3 people usually don’t realize is that there is a stage 4, that there actually are answers to the questions they’ve been asking. You might call this the mystical stage. Here, one suddenly realizes that most of the things we were taught in stage 2 are, in fact, true, but in a much richer and more mysterious sense than we would have, or could have, imagined.

Schmelzer suggests that stage 4 is about questions; stage 2 is about answers. In this way of thinking, stage 2 looks at truth from the outside, as if it were a book that can and must be mastered. Stage 4 looks at truth from smack-dab in the middle of it, as if truth is everywhere and will take a lifetime just to begin to traverse (which is the joy of it).

If Peck is right, stage 2, by definition, cannot reach those in stage 3. Stage 3 people, rightly, are never going back. We often meet folks who grew up in stage 2 churches, who led youth groups there, and who then went to college (that home of stage 3) and lost their faith. When they find their way back with us, what they realize is that—to their surprise—they never quit believing in God. What they quit believing in was stage 2.

I found this idea of the four stages of faith very compelling. I have definitely experienced stage one and have lived most of my life in stage two. I believe over the past couple of years I have been, unknowingly, smack dab in the middle of stage three as I have questioned what of my Christian experience is tradition and man-made religion and what is from God and based in authentic relationship.

However, I also see a lot of signs of stage four as I let go of rule-based religion and embrace the freedom to have unanswered questions and not feel that I am in danger of “backsliding” because I question some of what others might consider sacred ground.

I might add some stage four qualities to those Peck described. Stage four faith brings a freedom to not need to adopt and defend doctrinal positions or affiliations with specific denominations or institutions. The Stage four believer is not threatened by others who don’t share their beliefs or who question their religious practices. The stereotypical judgmental and combative Christian is generally one who is so established in stage two that they see anyone who doesn’t follow the rules or who questions the status quo as a threat.

I have found great enjoyment in discussing faith with those who see it very differently than I do because I don’t feel threatened any more. I don’t feel that I need to convince them of my point of view. If they are on an authentic journey in search of God, they will find Him and be richer for the detours they take along the way.

I was mulling over some of these thoughts as I was driving when I saw a bumper sticker on the car in front of me that had a skull and crossbones and said, “The beatings will continue until morale improves!” and it struck me… I am serving a pirateship captain God!

The beatings will continue until morale improves!

I thought to myself, Blimey, that explains a lot! No wonder I have been living my life in indentured servitude– never quite being able to do enough to earn God’s favor; seeing all the booty from the hard work I do seemingly benefit everyone else but me; living my life in the “brig” because I can’t quite live up to my captains demands; scrubbing the decks and swabbing the mainplanks.

Of course, the truth of the matter is that God is nothing like a pirateship captain. But somewhere along the way I have accepted a picture of God that looks a lot like a pirateship captain. I expect that when something bad happens to me it must be God disciplining me. I remain in a difficult or adverse circumstance, waiting for God to bail me out when He has already given me all I need to break free. I beg and grovel before God for a crust of bread. I accept my lot as an orphan who has been taken in by the ship’s crew when in reality, I am royalty.

It is kind of ironic when I turn to look at who is holding the Cat o’nine tails after a flogging and find that it is me.

1. Fast-Food Spirituality: Mix spirituality with a culture that celebrates speed, multitasking and instant gratification and the result is likely to be fast-food spirituality. Fast-food spirituality is a product of the common and understandable fantasy that relief from the suffering of our human condition can be quick and easy. One thing is clear, however: spiritual transformation cannot be had in a quick fix.

2. Faux Spirituality: Faux spirituality is the tendency to talk, dress and act as we imagine a spiritual person would. It is a kind of imitation spirituality that mimics spiritual realization in the way that leopard-skin fabric imitates the genuine skin of a leopard.

3. Confused Motivations: Although our desire to grow is genuine and pure, it often gets mixed with lesser motivations, including the wish to be loved, the desire to belong, the need to fill our internal emptiness, the belief that the spiritual path will remove our suffering and spiritual ambition, the wish to be special, to be better than, to be “the one.”

4. Identifying with Spiritual Experiences: In this disease, the ego identifies with our spiritual experience and takes it as its own, and we begin to believe that we are embodying insights that have arisen within us at certain times. In most cases, it does not last indefinitely, although it tends to endure for longer periods of time in those who believe themselves to be enlightened and/or who function as spiritual teachers.

5. The Spiritualized Ego: This disease occurs when the very structure of the egoic personality becomes deeply embedded with spiritual concepts and ideas. The result is an egoic structure that is “bullet-proof.” When the ego becomes spiritualized, we are invulnerable to help, new input, or constructive feedback. We become impenetrable human beings and are stunted in our spiritual growth, all in the name of spirituality.

6. Mass Production of Spiritual Teachers: There are a number of current trendy spiritual traditions that produce people who believe themselves to be at a level of spiritual enlightenment, or mastery, that is far beyond their actual level. This disease functions like a spiritual conveyor belt: put on this glow, get that insight, and — bam! — you’re enlightened and ready to enlighten others in similar fashion. The problem is not that such teachers instruct but that they represent themselves as having achieved spiritual mastery.

7. Spiritual Pride: Spiritual pride arises when the practitioner, through years of labored effort, has actually attained a certain level of wisdom and uses that attainment to justify shutting down to further experience. A feeling of “spiritual superiority” is another symptom of this spiritually transmitted disease. It manifests as a subtle feeling that “I am better, more wise and above others because I am spiritual.”

8. Group Mind: Also described as groupthink, cultic mentality or ashram disease, group mind is an insidious virus that contains many elements of traditional co-dependence. A spiritual group makes subtle and unconscious agreements regarding the correct ways to think, talk, dress, and act. Individuals and groups infected with “group mind” reject individuals, attitudes, and circumstances that do not conform to the often unwritten rules of the group.

9. The Chosen-People Complex: The chosen people complex is not limited to Jews. It is the belief that “Our group is more spiritually evolved, powerful, enlightened and, simply put, better than any other group.” There is an important distinction between the recognition that one has found the right path, teacher or community for themselves, and having found The One.

10. The Deadly Virus: “I Have Arrived”: This disease is so potent that it has the capacity to be terminal and deadly to our spiritual evolution. This is the belief that “I have arrived” at the final goal of the spiritual path. Our spiritual progress ends at the point where this belief becomes crystallized in our psyche, for the moment we begin to believe that we have reached the end of the path, further growth ceases.

Marc Gafni claims, “The essence of love is perception, therefore the essence of self love is self perception. You can only fall in love with someone you can see clearly–including yourself. To love is to have eyes to see. It is only when you see yourself clearly that you can begin to love yourself.”

Dr. Bruce Mosely of Baylor School of Medicine tested the power of belief on a group of patients suffering from Arthritic knees. He shaved the cartilage in one group, flushed out the knee joint in another group and made incisions and faked the surgery on a third group. All three groups improved & the placebo group improved just as much as the other two groups.
Dr Mosely said, “My skill as a surgeon had no benefit on these patients. The entire benefit of surgery for osteoarthritis of the knee was the placebo effect.” One member of the placebo group, Tim Perez, had to walk with a cane before the “surgery” but can now play basketball with his grandchildren.

Psychiatrist Walter Brown of Brown University has proposed that placebo pills be the first treatment for patients with mild or moderate depression. Studies have shown that even when people know they’re not getting a drug, the placebo pills work. Professor of Psychology, Irving Kirsch, from the University of Connecticut, had to invoke the Freedom of Information Act in 2001 to get information on the clinical trials of the top antidepressants on the market today. The data shows that in more than half of the clinical trials for the six leading antidepressants, the drugs did not outperform placebo sugar pills. Antidepressants have performed better and better in clinical trials over the years, suggesting that their placebo effects are in part due to savvy marketing. The more the media and advertisers have touted the miracle of antidepressants, the more effective they have become. People believe that antidepressants work, and so they do.

A California  interior designer, Janis Schonfeld, after suffering 30 years of depression, took part in a clinical trial in 1997 for Effexor. She was absolutely stunned when found out she had been on a placebo. The brain scans she received throughout the study found that the activity of her prefrontal cortex was greatly enhanced. She even experienced nausea, a common Effexor side effect.

Dr. Clifton Meador talks about his patient, Sam Londe, who was diagnosed with cancer of the esophagus– considered 100% fatal at the time (1974). Sam was well aware that everyone in the medical community “expected” that his cancer would recur. No surprise when Londe died a few weeks after diagnosis. However, an autopsy showed no esophageal cancer. Dr. Meador concluded that Londe died because he believed he was going to die.

If what we believe is so powerful in the area of disease and physical health, I wonder how our views of God impact who we become and how we interact with the world around us. I have often heard the idiom, we become like the god we believe in. I believe in a God of love, grace, compassion and creativity; one who accepts and approves me regardless of my mistakes and flaws… or do I? If this is the God I believe in, then why do I not demonstrate the same love, grace, compassion and acceptance towards others?

David Kinnaman, Barna Group president and author of the book, UnChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks About Christianity, conducted a study of young people, ages 16-29. He found that the vast majority of non-Christians — 87 percent — said Christianity was judgmental and 85 percent said it was hypocritical. Even the majority of active church-goers surveyed agreed, with 52 percent saying Christianity is judgmental, and 47 percent declaring it hypocritical. Is God judgmental? If most Christians were believing in a God of love and acceptance, would the majority of non-Christians see Christianity as judgmental?

Kinnaman said, “The anti-homosexual perception has now become sort of the Geiger counter of Christians’ ability to love and work with people.” If Christians response to homosexuality is any indication of the nature of the God we believe in, then I fear the majority of us are not seeing God as loving and gracious, but as judgmental and disapproving. Our inability to love and accept someone because of their sin is a reflection of our belief that God does not love and accept us when we sin.

Kinnaman said “When Jesus pursued people, he was much more critical of pride and much more critical of spiritual arrogance than he was of people who were sinful. And today’s Christians, if you spend enough time looking at their attitudes and actions, really are not like Jesus when it comes to that.”

Another survey of U.S. adults who don’t go to church, even on holidays, finds 72 percent say “God, a higher or supreme being, actually exists.” But just as many, 72% percent, also say the church is “full of hypocrites.” Most of the unchurched, 86% percent, say they believe they can have a “good relationship with God without belonging to a church.” And 79 percent say “Christianity today is more about organized religion than loving God and loving people.”

“These outsiders are making a clear comment that churches are not getting through on the two greatest commandments,” to love God and love your neighbor, says Scott McConnell, associate director of LifeWay Research. “When they look at churches … they don’t see people living out the faith.”

I would suggest that Mr. McConnell is wrong in his assessment. I believe that, too often, Christians are living out their faith– they are reflecting the very essence of their belief about God. And if it is true that we become like the God we believe in, many of us might want to reevaluate our view of God before we poison our own spiritual being and alienate others from the love of God. Are you becoming like the God you believe in?

For those of us who have found the one true source of faith, the journey there has often been a winding road with many adventures along the way. The stories of that journey can be inspirational and encouraging.

I discovered a website that shares the stories of dozens of travelers on the road to faith. Take a few minutes to listen to some of these stories at I Am Second. You won’t be disappointed.

I wonder about the lives of the people I see as I pass by. Are they happy where they are at? Are they pursuing their dreams?

During a recent trip to Cambodia, our van broke down by the side of the road in a rural area far from any cities. For a few hours I had the privilege of observing the lives of a few Cambodian families who lived alongside the road. They had small business ventures set up in front of their homes. One family was selling fuel to the passing motos and motorcars. Another had a roadside food stand. Others moved up and down the stretch of highway selling wares, or food. None seemed to be in a hurry, and it was clear they lived a subsistence lifestyle; making just enough money today to cover the needs of today. It was surreal being such a close observer of a scene similar to thousands of others that had flown by the van window during that trip and a dozen others.

In a way I envied their slow-paced existence and their seeming contentment to spend their lives watching others travel by on their way to somewhere they had never been. I found myself wondering, if I had been born to one of these families, would I be content to live out my life in such a small corner of the world. I supposed that if all you knew was contained within a few square miles, and you had no access to TV or the the internet, you might live the extent of your life never knowing what you missed. And although there were clearly aspects to their culture and lifestyle that lent to strong family and community relationships, I found myself very grateful I wasn’t born to a third-world family.

But at the same time, I know that, despite my larger view of the world, I have limitations in my vision based on my subjective position. It is interesting how our expectations of life are so often determined by the limitations of our experience. Sometimes I look at others and feel like I am standing still; sitting next to the highway watching them fly by on their way to somewhere meaningful. I often ask God to expand my view so I won’t miss out on all He has for me. I believe all desires and dreams come from God, but we too often seek to fulfill our God-given desires outside of His provision. I burn with desire for a greater vision and to impact the world for His glory and I find that with each new experience; with each new trip abroad; with each book I read; with each new person I meet; with each new road I travel, the picture I have of God expands along with the vision for where I fit in.

I challenge you to discover a new road to explore today.

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

–Marianne Williamson from her book A Return to Love

Your thoughts?….

The most frustrating thing about this feeling of lack and the unhealthy life patterns that result is that the harder I try to be a better person, the more lack I experience and the more of a failure I feel. I have spent my life trying to break free. I have gone to church consistently, striving to be a good Christian. I have prayed, read my Bible, confessed my sins and made myself accountable to others.

But recently I have been learning a new perspective. Religion makes rules and laws designed to lead us to perfection but instead take us deeper into the feeling of lack. We ignore the truth that says that laws can only make us more aware of our failures and can in no way give us power over sin.

Therefore by the deeds of the law no flesh will be justified in His sight, for by the law is the knowledge of sin. –Romans 3:20

…the strength of sin is the law. –1 Cor 15:56

In his book, Breaking the Cycle, Dr. James Richards says:

The sense of lack comes from not knowing, believing, and experiencing all that we have been freely given in Jesus. The church has been systematically trained to ask the wrong questions. Most of our questions are based on the presumption of lack. We do not really believe in the promises that come to us through the finished work of Jesus. When my beliefs are not based on the completed work of Jesus, I do not connect with the fact that I am complete in Jesus. Once I accept the idea that there is something God has not done for me, I abandon the promises and the power that makes it possible for me to live a victorious life.

My beliefs drive my emotions and my emotions drive my actions and I begin to be driven by fear rather than faith. What I focus on most is reproduced in my life and my feelings are validated and I begin to trust my feelings more than the realities of God and thus the cycle begins.

Dr. Richards insists that when my sense of wholeness and completeness (my feeling of righteousness) is based on the finished work of Jesus (His death, burial and resurrection and all that it purchased), I become free from the power of lack. True completeness comes from the sense of who I am, not what I have or what I do. When I believe that I am a new creation in Jesus I cease pursuing the destructive process of becoming. I focus on who I already am and by focusing on that truth, emotions follow, and I begin acting according to that truth rather than according to lack. Lack makes me the center of every equation. Faith, on the other hand, makes Jesus the center.

The more I understand God’s love for me and His desire to meet my needs, the less lack I will feel and less codependency will surface in my relationships. I am approved by God and He has already given me all I need for life and Godliness.

Why I Don’t Go To Church Anymore: Living in the Relational Church – Part 6
By Wayne Jacobsen
BodyLife • May 2001

Dear Fellow-believer,

I do appreciate your concern for me and your willingness to raise issues that have caused you concern. I know the way I relate to the church is a bit unconventional and some even call it dangerous. Believe me, I understand that concern because I used to think that way myself and even taught others to as well.

If you are happy with the status quo of organized religion today, you may not like what you read here. My purpose is not to convince you to see this incredible church the same way I do, but to answer your questions as openly and honestly as I can. Even if we don’t end up agreeing, hopefully you will understand that our differences need not estrange us as members of Christ’s body.
Where do you go to church?

I have never liked this question, even when I was able to answer it with a specific organization. I know what it means culturally, but it is based on a false premise–that church is something you can go to as in a specific event, location or organized group. I think Jesus looks at the church quite differently. He didn’t talk about it as a place to go to, but a way of living in relationship to him and to other followers of his.

Asking me where I go to church is like asking me where I go to Jacobsen. How do I answer that? I am a Jacobsen and where I go a Jacobsen is. ‘Church’ is that kind of word. It doesn’t identify a location or an institution. It describes a people and how they relate to each other. If we lose sight of that, our understanding of the church will be distorted and we’ll miss out on much of its joy.
Are you just trying to avoid the question?

I know it may only sound like quibbling over words, but words are important. When we only ascribe the term ‘church’ to weekend gatherings or institutions that have organized themselves as ‘churches’ we miss out on what it means to live as Christ’s body. It will give us a false sense of security to think that by attending a meeting once a week we are participating in God’s church. Conversely I hear people talk about ‘leaving the church’ when they stop attending a specific congregation.

But if the church is something we are, not someplace we go, how can we leave it unless we abandon Christ himself? And if I think only of a specific congregation as my part of the church, haven’t I separated myself from a host of other brothers and sisters that do not attend the same one I do?

The idea that those who gather on Sunday mornings to watch a praise concert and listen to a teaching are part of the church and those who do not, are not, would be foreign to Jesus. The issue is not where we are at a given time during the weekend, but how we are living in him and with other believers all week long.
But don’t we need regular fellowship?

I wouldn’t say we need it. If we were in a place where we couldn’t find other believers, Jesus certainly would be able to take care of us. Thus, I’d phrase that a bit differently: Will people who are growing to know the Living God also desire real and meaningful connections with other believers? Absolutely! The call to the kingdom is not a call to isolation. Every person I’ve ever met who is thriving in the life of Jesus has a desire to share authentic fellowship with other believers. They realize that whatever they know of God’s life is just in part, and only the fullest revelation of him is in the church.

But sometimes that kind of fellowship is not easy to find. Periodically on this journey we may go through times when we can’t seem to find any other believers who share our hunger. That’s especially true for those who find that conforming to the expectations of the religious institutions around them diminishes their relationship with Jesus. They may find themselves excluded by believers with whom they’ve shared close friendship. But no one going through that looks on that time as a treat. It is incredibly painful and they will look for other hungry believers to share the journey with.

My favorite expression of body life is where a local group of people chooses to walk together for a bit of the journey by cultivating close friendships and learning how to listen to God together.
Shouldn’t we be committed to a local fellowship?

That has been said so often today, that most of us assume it is in the Bible somewhere. I haven’t found it yet. Many of us have been led to believe that we can’t possibly survive without the ‘covering of the body’ and will either fall into error or backslide into sin. But doesn’t that happen inside our local congregations as well?

I know many people who live outside those structures and find not only an ever-deepening relationship with God, but also connections with other believers that run far deeper than they found in the institution. I haven’t lost any of my passion for Jesus or my affection for his church. If anything those have grown by leaps and bounds in recent years.

Scripture does encourage us to be devoted to one another not committed to an institution. Jesus indicated that whenever two or three people get together focused on him, they would experience the vitality of church life.

Is it helpful to regularly participate in a local expression of that reality? Of course. But we make a huge mistake when we assume that fellowship takes place just because we attend the same event together, even regularly, or because we belong to the same organization. Fellowship happens where people share the journey of knowing Jesus together. It consists of open, honest sharing, genuine concern about each other’s spiritual well being and encouragement for people to follow Jesus however he leads them.
But don’t our institutions keep us from error?

I’m sorry to burst your bubble here, but every major heresy that has been inflicted on God’s people for the last 2,000 years has come from organized groups with ‘leaders’ who thought they knew God’s mind better than anyone around them. Conversely, virtually every move of God among people hungering for him was rejected by the ‘church’ of that day and were excluded, excommunicated or executed for following God.

If that is where you hope to find security, I’m afraid it is sorely misplaced. Jesus didn’t tell us that ‘going to church’ would keep us safe, but that trusting him would. He gave us an anointing of the Spirit so that we would know the difference between truth and error. That anointing is cultivated as we learn his ways in his Word and grow closer to his heart. It will help you recognize when expressions of church you share life with becomes destructive to his work in you.
So are traditional congregations wrong?

Absolutely not! I have found many of them with people who love God and are seeking to grow in his ways. I visit a couple of dozen different congregations a year that I find are far more centered on relationship than religion. Jesus is at the center of their life together, and those who act as leaders are true servants and not playing politics of leadership, so that all are encouraged to minister to one another.

I pray that even more of them are renewed in a passion for Jesus, a genuine concern for each other and a willingness to serve the world with God’s love. But I think we’d have to admit that these are rare in our communities and many only last for a short span before they unwittingly look to institutional answers for the needs of the body instead of remaining dependent on Jesus. When that happens do not feel condemned if God leads you not to go along with them.
So should I stop going to church, too?

I’m afraid that question also misses the point. You see I don’t believe you’re going to church any more than I am. We’re just part of it. Be your part, however Jesus calls you to and wherever he places you. Not all of us grow in the same environment.

If you gather with a group of believers at a specific time and place and that participation helps you grow closer to Jesus and allows you to follow his work in you, by all means don’t think you have to leave. Keep in mind, however, that of itself is not the church. It is just one of many expressions of it in the place where you live.

Don’t be tricked into thinking that just because you attend its meetings you are experiencing real body life. That only comes as God connects you with a handful of brothers and sisters with whom you can build close friendships and share the real ups and downs of this journey.

That can happen among traditional congregations, as it can also happen beyond them. In the last seven years I’ve meet hundreds if not thousands of people who have grown disillusioned with traditional congregations and are thriving spiritually as they share God’s life with others, mostly in their homes.
Then meeting in homes is the answer?

Of course not. But let’s be clear: as fun as it is to enjoy large group worship and even be instructed by gifted teachers, the real joy of body life can’t be shared in huge groups. The church for its first 300 years found the home the perfect place to gather. They are much more suited to the dynamics of family which is how Jesus described his body.

But meeting in homes is no cure-all. I’ve been to some very sick home meetings and met in facilities with groups who shared an authentic body life together. But the time I spend in regular body life I want to spend face to face with a group of people. I know it isn’t popular today where people find it is far easier to sit through a finely-tuned (or not so finely-tuned) service and go home without ever having to open up our life or care about another person’s journey.

But ultimately what matters most to me is not where or how they meet, but whether or not people are focused on Jesus and really helping each other on the journey to becoming like him. Meetings are less the issue here than the quality of relationships. I am always looking for people like that wherever I am and always rejoice when I find it. In our new home in Oxnard, we’ve found a few folks and are hopeful to find even more.
Aren’t you just reacting out of hurt?

I suppose that is possible and time will tell, I guess, but I honestly don’t believe so. Anyone who is engaged in real body life will get hurt at times. But there are two kinds of hurt. There’s the kind of pain that points to a problem that can be fixed with the right care – such as a badly sprained ankle. Then there’s the kind of pain that can only be fixed by pulling away – as when you put your hand on a hot stove.

Perhaps all of us have experienced some measure of pain as we have tried to fit God’s life into institutions. For a long time most of us hung in there hoping if we tweaked a few things it would get better. Though we could be successful in limited ways during moments of renewal, we also discovered that eventually the conformity an institution demands and the freedom people need to grow in Christ are at odds with one another. It has happened with virtually every group formed throughout the history of Christianity.
Are you looking for the perfect church?

No, and I don’t anticipate finding one this side of eternity. Perfection is not my goal, but finding people with God’s priorities. It’s one thing for people to struggle toward an ideal they share together. It’s another to realize that our ideals have little in common.

I make no secret of the fact that I am deeply troubled by the state of organized Christianity. Most of what we call ‘church’ today are nothing more than well-planned performances with little actual connection between believers. Believers are encouraged toward a growing dependency on the system or its leadership rather than on Jesus himself. We spend more energy conforming behavior to what the institution needs rather than helping people be transformed at the foot of the cross!

I’m tired of trying to fellowship with people who only view church as a two-hour a week dumping ground for guilt while they live the rest of the week with the same priorities as the world. I’m tired of those who depend on their own works of righteousness but who have no compassion for the people of the world. I’m tired of insecure people using the Body of Christ as an extension of their own ego and will manipulate it to satisfy their own needs. I’m tired of sermons more filled with the bondage of religion than the freedom of God’s love and where relationships take a back seat to the demands of an efficient institution.
But don’t our children need church activities?

I’d suggest that what they need most is to be integrated into God’s life through relational fellowship with other believers. 92% of children who grow up in Sunday schools with all the puppets and high-powered entertainment, leave ‘church’ when they leave their parents’ home? Instead of filling our children with ethics and rules we need to demonstrate how to live in God’s life together.

Even sociologists tell us that the #1 factor in determining whether a child will thrive in society is if they have deep, personal friendships with nonrelative adults. No Sunday school can fill that role. I know of one community in Australia who after 20 years of sharing God’s life together as families could say that they had not lost one child to the faith as they grew into adulthood. I know I cut across the grain here, but it is far more important that our children experience real fellowship among believers rather than the bells and whistles of a slick children’s program.
What dynamics of body life do you look for?

I’m always looking for a people who are seeking to follow the Living Christ. He is at the center of their lives, their affections and their conversation. They look to be authentic and free others to hurt when they hurt, to question what they question and to follow his voice without others accusing them of being divisive or rebellious. I look for people who are not wasting their money on extravagant buildings or flashy programs; where people sitting next to each other are not strangers; and where they all participate as a priesthood to God instead of watch passively from a safe distance.
Aren’t you giving people an excuse to sit home and do nothing?

I hope not, though I know it is a danger. I realize some people who leave traditional congregations end up abusing that freedom to satisfy their own desires and thus miss out on church life altogether. Neither am I a fan of ‘church hoppers’, who whip around to one place after another looking for the latest fad or the best opportunity to fulfill their own selfish desires.

But most of the people I meet and talk with are not outside the system because they have lost their passion for Jesus or his people, but only because the traditional congregations near them couldn’t satisfy their hunger for relationship. They are seeking authentic expressions of body life and pay an incredible cost to seek it out. Believe me, we would all find it easier just to go with the flow, but once you’ve tasted of living fellowship between passionate believers, it is impossible to settle for anything less.
Isn’t this view of church divisive?

Not of itself. People make it divisive when they demand that people conform to their revelation of truth. Most of us on the journey are accused of being divisive because freedom can be threatening to those who find their security in a religious system. But must of us aren’t trying to recruit others to leave their congregations. We see the body of Christ big enough to encompass God’s people however he calls them to gather.

One of the things often said about traditional church is that Sunday morning is the most segregated hour in American culture. We only meet with people who look like we do and like things the way we do. I’ve found now that I have far more opportunity to get with people from a broader cross-section of his body. I don’t demand others do it my way and I hope in time that those who see it differently will stop demanding we conform to theirs.
Where can I find that kind of fellowship?

There’s no easy answer here. It might be right in front of you among the fellowship you’re already in. It might be down the street in your neighborhood or across a cubicle at work. You can also get involved in compassionate outreaches to the needy and broken in your locality as a way to live out his life in you and meet others with a similar hunger.

Don’t expect this kind of fellowship to fall easily into an organization. It is organic, and Jesus can lead you to it right where you are. Look for him to put a dozen or so folks around your life with whom you can share the journey. They may not even all go to the same congregation you do. They might be neighbors or coworkers who are following after God. Wouldn’t that kind of interconnection among God’s people yield some incredible fruit?

Don’t expect it to be easy or run smoothly. It will take some specific choices on our part to be obedient to Jesus. It may take some training to shake off old habits and be free to let him build his community around you, but it is all worth it. I know it bothers some people that I don’t take my regular place in a pew on Sunday morning, but I can tell you absolutely that my worst days outside organized religion are still better than my best days inside it. To me the difference is like listening to someone talk about golf or actually taking a set of clubs out to a course and playing golf. Being his church is like that. In our day we don’t need more talk about the church, but people who are simply ready to live in its reality.

People all over the world are freshly discovering how to do that again. You can be one of them as you let him place you in his body as he desires.

They have no use for churches that play religious games, whether those games are worship services that drone on without the presence of God or ministry programs that bear no spiritual fruit. They refuse to follow people in ministry leadership who cast a personal vision rather than God’s, who seek popularity rather than proclamation of the truth in their public statements, or who are more concerned about their own legacy than that of Jesus Christ. They refuse to donate one more dollar to man-made monuments that mark their own achievements and guarantee their place in history.

Barna speaks of Christians who are frustrated at being “…mired in an agonizing revolving door of trial-and-error efforts in a disheartening and unfulfilling search for truth, integrity, meaning, wholeness, connection, passion, and inner peace.” He introduces a new class of “revolutionary” believers who are “…confidently returning to a first-century lifestyle based on faith, goodness, love, generosity, kindness, and simplicity…” I, nor George Barna, am saying there is anything inherently wrong with being involved in a local church. The traditional church in America many have come to cherish– the services, offices, programs, buildings, ceremonies– is neither biblical nor unbiblical; such an organization is not addressed in the Bible. It is not about the church, it is about the Church. It is not about going to church, it is about being the Church, and for many, like myself, a lifetime immersion in the institutional church has often resulted in more barriers than channels to an authentic relationship with God.

As I have traveled internationally I have witnessed many expressions of the local church. Africa, in particular, painted a common and unfortunate picture of man’s tendency toward religion over relationship. While traveling in remote areas of Zambia, Uganda, Mozambique, South Africa and Ghana, I noticed that the young, start-up churches in the villages mostly consisted of small groups of people, meeting under the shade of a tree or in someone’s home. The worship consisted of beautiful acapella singing in traditional, African rhythms and harmonies, sometimes with drums, always with dancing. The pastor would share a message during which discussion and interaction among the believers was encouraged. But then when I visited churches in the larger towns and cities, the picture dramatically changed. The meetings happened in large church buildings with blaring and distorted sound systems. The traditional singing was lost to “contemporary worship” imported from the West, complete with full bands of guitars and keyboards and drums sets. The sermon was delivered by the “senior pastor” with great fanfare and pomp. The contrast was alarming! I felt that the village church was intimate and relational while the big city church was religious and impersonal. I believe that something was lost in the “evolution” of the African church when the Western model of a formal organization and facility and technology was introduced, and it saddened my heart.

I have a local church which my family and I attend on occasion, and where we still find life-giving teaching and worship. But we have given up a sense of obligation to attend every Sunday in order to feel that we are right with God. We reject the co-dependency and exclusivity so often found in becoming a “member” of a local church. We are blessed with a large family, all of whom are actively believers, and we have found a small community of believers who are hungry for the same authentic pursuit of relationship with God and His people, with whom we meet a couple of times a week, sharing a common journey from religion to relationship.