Discovering Who I Am

I have been recently volunteering in the county jail. I help lead a Bible study which walks the inmates through seven steps to spiritual freedom. This week’s lesson asked the men to write down statements that their parents or others had made about them which had not agreed with God’s heart for them. The virtually unending lists of curses and destructive identity messages these men received were astounding!

These young men had grown up hearing their father or mother proclaiming over them statements like, “you’re worthless, I wish you were never born, I wish you were dead, you will never amount to anything, you just bring pain to everyone you know, you’re going to end up in prison or dead” and on and on and on. Many of these statements were reinforced by their fathers abandoning them.
I asked my group, “What are the kinds of statements you make to and about yourself when you mess up?” Not surprisingly, they listed the exact same kinds of destructive proclamations they had received throughout their lives.

Is it any surprise that a child who was never given any value; who never came to know their own worth to God and had no worth to their own parents would grow up to see no worth or value in other’s lives or property? No wonder they end up drinking, drugging, stealing and killing. Why not, nothing really matters anyway.

But can you blame their parents? Their mothers and fathers most likely grew up with the same statements being made about them and with the same lack of self worth. And so it goes, generation after generation, until someone tells them that a loving God created them and has a good plan for their lives.

It is amazing to see the light come on as they realize that all those statements were lies, and that they do have value to God and others. Suddenly a sensitivity to the plight of others creeps in; a true regret for the pain caused by their crimes. A hope begins to burn and a new purpose and vision for a life of living right and doing good comes into their eyes. They begin thinking about their fatherless children and the women they have used.

Identity is at the root of every social, economical and spiritual problem we have in the world. If we want to truly cut crime, we need to reach these hurting families with the love of God before they program their children to grow up to be criminals.